BAD COOKING PRACTICES.
A public service in avoiding suicide through eating bad cooking. This monkey's self-sacrifice (plus any other victims in the vicinity) will hopefully help you circumvent any pitfalls in your own misadventures in the kitchen. May the strongest stomach survive!

14 July 2007

Kingly Rescue

I leaped beyond Prince Charming to rescue me, and went straight for the King, but no ordinary king. King Arthur to be exact. I needed bread! A call for bread! Rice, potatoes or other starches just wouldn't do. It was not so much that sandwich meat doesn't go quite right layered on top of a bowl of rice. Rather I was putting together a picnic meal where the main object of consumption was a pile of flaky-tender meat. Not quite pulled pork, but similar enough. Yes, rice would be perfect with this dish, but it's a minimalist picnic! Fingers as utensils don't require major washing afterwards nor produce additional waste. Just wash up and you're good to go!

I didn't want just any bread, but something that would acceptably complement the dish like plain white rolls of some sort versus say cornbread or biscuits. Heck, I really wanted something soft like potato rolls but the recipes I had required potato starch. Fortunately, I found this recipe from King Arthur Flour for Amish Rolls that use a cooked potato instead. It also seemed relatively easy to make particularly since I could have the bread machine do all the work for me while I prepped the other dishes.

As it turns out, the recipe was a huge amount that overflowed the bread machine's bucket. Either that or my yeast were throwing a party. In shaping the dough into rounds, I found my dough to be quite sticky. I floured heavily as a result. When the rounds poofed up again, they had overtaken every last inch on the baking sheet as I liked the idea of having them be 'pull apart' rolls (a suggested option in the recipe). I was quite worried I had a disgusting, inedible mess on my hands as I threw them in the oven. Checking on them at regular worry-induced intervals, they looked tasty enough but would they be? Towards the end of the baking time, they looked downright lovely with their golden-brown tops. With much salivation and haste, I took them out, buttered their tops and popped one in my mouth burning my tongue along the way. Ouch! But mmm! A tad on the yeasty side but otherwise, good. Slather enough butter on, or pair it with food (sandwich, etc...) and you'd never notice. Hooray! As long as I remember to take everything along, this picnic should be just fine...as long as I don't give anyone food poisoning...At some point, I will try to remake these to see if I did something wrong the first time. Even if so, it was still a tasty mistake. ;)

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