Tofu-cow Patties

Well, most people know what cow patties are. They're...well...cow excrement that when plops out forms patty shapes which is retained as it dries out into hard discs that you can fling around like frisbees. Fun at farms. Anyhow, I'd purchased House brand's tofu hamburger mix from the Japanese market a while ago out of pure curiosity. It's basically just a mixture of seasonings that you mix into tofu and then fry up like a hamburger. I just had to try it out, especially the seaweed one. Mmm, seaweed hamburgers.

First off, I don't know how people can form tofu into shapes, cook them up and then serve them still in that shape. I've drained my tofu quite well, mashed it quite well, and still, my tofu never stays into any shape. It just falls apart. After a lot of careful flipping and even more loud cursing directed towards the sizzling pan, I was able to pan-fry up some tofu hamburgers. Heck, I might as well call them tofu sliders because any larger and they wouldn't be called patties.

Despite all the effort and expletives, I was absolutely disappointed hence my calling them tofu-cow patties since they were pretty well...you know. They were surprisingly tasteless even with all that MSG which came to haunt me later in the evening with an all night "drinking" binge. Splattering on some tonkatsu sauce was an improvement, but not by much. Looking into the fridge for other possibilities, I tried salsa, sandwich spreads and some leftover Heinz Chili sauce. None of them could inject interest into them. Ah well.

As a side to the tofuburgers, I rummaged around and found the only suitable item-shrimp chips. Well, at least I stayed with the Japanese theme. They do look like fries! ;) I even doused them in a bit of that Heinz Chili sauce for fun. However, it turns out they actually taste pretty good with salsa. Ha!! For the best shrimp flavour, though, they are best left unadulterated.

Ah well. So much for that dinner. At least I got an excuse to play with my food. =)