BAD COOKING PRACTICES.
A public service in avoiding suicide through eating bad cooking. This monkey's self-sacrifice (plus any other victims in the vicinity) will hopefully help you circumvent any pitfalls in your own misadventures in the kitchen. May the strongest stomach survive!

13 November 2007

Toasted Pumpkin Seeds

So I carved the pumpkin for halloween and made that pumpkin craisin bread using the flesh. What about those leftover seeds, eh? Well, the last pumpkin I'd carved a few years ago, I'd tried roasting the seeds in the oven. The results were not very good. I know, roasting seeds isn't exactly difficult. Maybe I just wasn't impressed with merely roasting the seeds. I needed something more...something profound! ;P In searching for ideas, I found inspiration! =D

The recipe suggestions at http://www.101cookbooks.com/archives/001524.html sounded quite tasty. I've read this blog on and off and have enjoyed the entries and if nothing else, the photography. =) Anyhow, I didn't have much time to follow directions of any sort so I just skimmed it over for the basic ideas, and off I went! I decided to do portions of 1/2 cup each which yielded 3 whole portions, and 1 slightly under a portion.

The "less than a portion" seeds just got a dash of soy and garlic powder. Unfortunately, I forgot the oil factor so they browned quickly and became slightly burnt. It was my least favorite, but not still not bad.


One portion was a Caramelized Curry: melted butter, 1/4 tspn kosher salt, 1/8 tspn curry powder and a few teaspoons (whatever I felt like) of brown sugar. I liked these and was my favorite of the bunch! It was just a hint of curry so more would have been great, but the caramelized sugar was like eating unhealthy popcorn! =9 This was all enhanced with that bit of salt.

Second portion was Black Tea and Butter (or sort of): melted butter, 1/4 tspn kosher salt. After the roasting I sprinkled on some lapsang souchong tea over the top. I found these seeds to have a very interesting flavor. It was slightly smokey from the tea so you don't quite recognize what it is. Yes...very interesting. It was the 3rd favorite of the bunch.


Third portion was a Smoked Sweet Paprika: melted butter, 1/4 tspn kosher salt and some smoked sweet paprika (less than 1/8 tspn I think as I eyeballed it). I'd bought the paprika recently and wanted to use it in something, anything so in it went! If I hadn't burnt it (like all the rest), this would have been a real contender with the caramelized curry one. The smoked paprika is so fragrant and has that 'roasted/smoked over a fire' flavor. Mmm! Since I burned it, it merely came in 2nd place.


Next year, I need to work on making them crisp toasty (they were a bit chewy). They were a bit annoying to eat as they'd stick to my teeth and then would often make me cough/choke. I will also need to work on not overbrowning them and of course getting the proportions of the ingredients correct (more curry powder, brown sugar, smoked paprika) and trying new varieties. For future variants, I'm thinking of worcestshire sauce, bbq, miso, tandoori, strong curry (not sugared up), parmesan (and other cheeses)... Ahhh, the possibilities are endless!! I think I'm finally on the right path for making those leftover seeds a tasty delight instead of compost. =)

Labels: , ,

11 November 2007

Sabzi Cutlet

It seemed like a good idea at the time. It'd been a while since I made anything from the Indian subcontinent and I had the ingredients on hand, so why not? Sigh...This was first and foremost a mess in the kitchen and then food as an afterthought. The procedure seemed easy enough but it quickly became a messy disaster. I found it curious the recipe from Indian Vegetarian Cooking by Sumana Ray called for dipping the soft patties in batter before rolling in breadcrumbs. How the heck?? Well, I avoided that mess and dumped it straight into hot oil. Little did I realize it would stick to the pan. =( Even before I got to that step, I had trouble manipulating the patties as they deformed with every touch or slight movement. Not surprising. It's mashed veggies after all, but I had figured the chilling step in the fridge would have helped stiffen it up like when making pastry dough. Tastewise, it was ok aside from the oiliness I created. That was likely due to my inability to deep fry properly in terms of keeping the temperature right, etc... I know what to do and why to do certain things in a theoretical manner but I never seem to be able to pull it off. As for the veggies in the mash, the beets and carrots lended a bit of sweetness while the potatoes held it all together with the spices. The cabbage was invisible. Or at least, I didn't notice its presence.

Fool! You say. So why did I make this despite my reservations that turned into a disastrous reality? I'd been wanting to try something from this book but never had all the ingredients at the same time. If I did, I didn't realize the fact to try anything from the book. So I jumped at the opportunity when all the stars aligned. Should I eat this dish again, I'll opt for it at a good Indian restaurant instead. ;) If they have it. Otherwise, I need to find myself an Indian friend who can fry me some up to try the real deal. ;P I have an inkling I wouldn't make a good Indian chef...

I was so preoccupied trying to recover from the ordeal in the kitchen, I nearly forgot to photograph the cutlets. Maybe I didn't want to remember any part of this evening...;) They look so innocuous sitting in the plastic container...


Labels: ,

08 November 2007

Pumpkin Craisin Bread

For Halloween, I'd carved a pumpkin (but if my friend asks, I deny it since I left his mug on the pumpkin on his doorstep.) which of course resulted in leftover innards. Best not to let it go to waste. Pumpkin pie? Eh...Oh! I have an Alton Brown recipe for a pumpkin bread that uses fresh pumpkin. Hooray!

Aside from the extra step of raw pumpkin (versus out of a can), it wasn't difficult to make. Alas, I was not wowed by this pumpkin bread. It was just ok though nice and moist. Ok, I confess I found it downright boring. It could have been zucchini bread for all I knew. There was no taste of pumpkin just as there is no taste of zucchini in zucchini bread. Something go wrong? Well, it's possible that in using a carving pumpkin rather than a cooking pumpkin such as say a cinderella (I think?) or sugar pumkin resulted in subpar taste. Also, I didn't add the pumpkin seeds (in too much of a rush to toast them first) and added craisins instead for the hell of it. Though I doubt the omission/substitution played a significant role. Aside from the lack of pumpkin flavour, I found the spice content to underwhelming. Cinnamon was the only spice called for, but I could have gone for a more complex spice mixture for the oomph such as maybe throwing in some ginger for starters. Heck, gingerbread spicing would have been great but I go for that type of stuff.

Oh well. At least it looked nice with its split crest when it emerged from the oven. =)


Labels: , , , ,

07 November 2007

Creamy Nonya Noodles

A spur of the moment purchase of fresh, thick noodles from the local Asian market left me with the task of how best to devour them. Lo mein? Eh...Aha! A nice heavy broth/sauce would be great in this cool weather. Though the noodles are not of the ramen type, I'm sure there's something out there suitable for this.

After scouring about, I found this Creamy Nonya Noodles recipe from Martin Yan. I modified it to suit my tastes and the availability of ingredients in the kitchen. For the most part, I didn't bother with the "accessories" he used such as chicken, cucumber, omelette strips and fried tofu. Instead, I used hard-boiled eggs, fish balls and soft tofu (not fried) which is somewhat ramen-like. The recipe also calls for using water, but that just seemed awfully boring so I used a Knorr vegetable boullion for the stock, but that might have been a mistake. Perhaps those pseudo-meaty broths would have been more suitable here? Considering what goes into those rich ramen broths that yield complex, deep flavours for ramen, a vegetable boullion cube utterly pales in comparison.

Regardless, the soup base turned out to be not creamy at all. I'm not sure what the creamy bit in the name refers to. However, I enjoyed the coconut and lemongrass flavours that permeated the soup. Other than that, the soup was just too heavy on me taste buds in a salty-oily manner. Ah, perhaps I shouldn't have used dark soy sauce and surely the boullion cube added a wee bit too much in the salt department? Another potential mistake in the preparation may have been the absence of the chilies. None were on hand and I forgot to add dried hot pepper as a substitue. I think their addition would have helped. Ah well.

Being a soup-based noodle dish, it's best to consume it all. Victims are useful in that sense. I had no willing victims (they are too smart for me) so I had refrigerate the leftover soup while I left the noodles in a separate bowl. After all, I wouldn't want the noodles to soak up all the soup to become a huge mushy mass. Yuck. The next day when I opened the fridge, I was greeted by a transformed soup. It had separated! Somehow, I found it rather amusing which is about all I can muster up for a decidely unpleasant dish. =P


Labels: , , , ,